how we potty trained in less than a week

Kelley was potty trained exactly 2 weeks after he turned two. If you've read my previous posts about high needs babies then you know that he wasn't and isn't an easy kid. Nothing has come easy with him. Until potty training. Some days I think it was a fluke because it was that easy. But the proud and obnoxious part of my brain wants to believe that it was the method we used, my dedication and patience, and my genius kid. Buttttt.. it was probably just a fluke.

Before I even start going into it, I need to make four major disclaimers.

1. I am not a pro
I mean, if you're reading this and know me in real life, then you obviously know I'm not some potty training wizard by profession. I didn't come up with this method, I didn't do this on my own. I read a book. This book. And even if you read this entire post, I still suggest you read the book if this method interests you. Everything I know and will say in this article is only because I did soooo much research, read this book front to back, did more research, read highlighted chapters of the book again, and then a little more research. (I'm an Enneagram 5 if you're wondering).

2. Readiness is everything
I cannot stress enough that if they aren't ready, they aren't ready. I've known people with kids who were ready at 18 months, and others not ready until the age of 4. If your child is crying when you try to get them to use the potty, they act scared of it, their diaper isn't dry for long periods of time, etc, then they're simply not ready. I'm a firm believer that starting potty training, then stopping, then starting again later, then stopping, is really confusing and detrimental and really makes the process longer. So I suggest not even starting until you really know that they're ready. For some basic signs of readiness, read here. Kelley acted extremely interested. Climbed onto the toilet himself (with a diaper on) to tell me he wanted to pee, woke up dry, etc. He seemed very ready and interested and this was the only reason we started when we did.

3. Consistency is key
I'll get more into this in the actual method, but like I said above, starting and stopping and starting and taking breaks, or doing it halfway is only going to make it 100x harder on the both of you. It will also send mixed messages and confuse your child so much more. Don't make it harder on yourself!! Stick to it 100%, set aside the time to focus and put all your energy and attention into it for these 3-7 days, and stay consistent!!

4. Just because it worked for me, doesn't mean it will work for you
Although I swear by our method and recommend it to everyone who asks, I do realize that every child and parent are different and it might not work for everyone. There are tons of different ways of potty training, including really simple things like simply waiting for them to be completely ready and following their lead, or watching potty training videos from Elmo, etc. This just happened to work almost flawlessly for us and so many other people so I can't help but swear by it!

What you need:
- your ready and able child
- a bathroom
- a seat that goes ON the regular toilet like this one (there are lots of different variations of these. lots of different characters or colors, some with steps or pee shields. get what works for you!)
- a physical reward, usually in the form of food. the book I read said she has seen lots of parents try to avoid sweets and do small toys, stickers, etc. but those things quickly lost their allure. small candy that they don't normally get is usually the way to go. something they'll be excited about every time! we used peanut butter m&ms. a jar to put them in is optional
- underwear

The basics:
The goal that I created for myself was to make every. single. pee & poop go into the potty. Every time the pee or poop goes into the potty, they get lots of praise and the reward.. the more it happens, the more it clicks. This is where being consistent comes into play, because EVERY time they pee or poop, even if they don't start out on the potty, even if it starts out as a puddle on the floor, (which is impossible early on) needs to end up finishing on the potty. ANY pee or poop in the potty = praise and reward. I can't stress that enough.

R u l e  1:  Get rid of diapers completely. Put them in the garage, in your car, give them away to a friend if you're feeling especially confident. Diapers are now gone. Its SO important that you don't go back and forth. If you're potty training, then diapers are no longer an option. For years they've known that they can pee in a diaper. They now need to know and recognize the feeling of having to pee and stopping themselves. So take away the comfort of diapers and put them either in underwear or leave them naked. We did naked the first 2 days, then underwear 50% of the time after that until he was fully potty trained. This also includes pull ups. Pull ups are for sleep but shouldn't be used any other time.

R u l e  2:  STAY HOME. Don't go anywhere. You need to be home and completely focused on this (that's the next rule). You can't risk having accidents in public or in the car. You need to be as close to the bathroom as possible so that, like I've said a million times, you can make sure every time they use the bathroom, it ends up going into the potty somehow. On day 3, if things are going somewhat well, you can go outside and play for short periods of time. But I don't suggest going out in public until day 7 or until you feel confident enough in their ability to hold it until they get to a bathroom. Drinks were also a big factor. I bought special juice that he doesn't normally get and let him drink all day long. I figured the more he drank, the more he'd have to use the bathroom, so the more opportunities to practice.

R u l e  3:  Watch them like a hawk. I understand this isn't easy if you have other kids at home or have other priorities. But its really important to take this time of potty training and focus ALL your attention on it, so make arrangements to allow for that. I put my phone down most of the day and just watched him. We did lots of activities like play doh, coloring, puzzles, etc. It was actually so nice just sitting down and interacting with him so much those days. But more importantly I was watching for signs and prompting (next rule) all day. I would constantly watch for signs that he had to pee. Poop was easy because he'd get in his "stance" (lol) but I started to notice that when he had to pee he'd grab himself or pull on himself. Before that though, there were lots of times he'd just pee. On the floor, on the couch, standing on his bed. The important thing is though, that since I was WATCHING LIKE A HAWK, I noticed the second the pee started to come out. I was able to grab him and say "go potty!" and take him to the potty. That's basically exactly what this method is. Watching very carefully so that you can catch it HAPPENING, so that they can immediately finish in the potty. Usually the act of me swooping him up and rushing him to the bathroom stopped the stream enough that he could fully finish peeing on the potty. Then, guess what? He got lots of praise. Songs. Clapping. and an m&m. Repeat. All day long.

R u l e  4:  Prompts. I had to really train myself to avoid asking "do you have to go potty?". Asking him would almost always end in "no" or whining or running away because it would interrupt whatever he was doing. Instead, I was like a broken record, constantly repeating, "If you have to go potty, tell mommy, okay?" or "Tell mommy if have to pee pee!" I said so often that along with saying "go potty!" every time we went to the potty, the words and prompts started to stick with him. To this day, he says "go potty!" every time he has to go. I also would use those words when I went to the bathroom. "Mommy has to go potty!"

R u l e  5:  No little potties. Before we started hardcore potty training I had bought a little potty just to get him used to it (I assumed we would use one). I also bought a urinal because I saw good reviews on Amazon. We didn't use either. I'm not sure if I just have an extremely destructive child or what but he was constantly taking them apart, knocking them over, putting things inside of them, etc. He treated them as more of a toy. So when the book suggested that you DON'T use them, I was relieved. Really they aren't necessary. Why do we need to teach our toddlers they can pee or poop in the living room ya know? They'll eventually be using the big toilet in the main bathroom the rest of their lives, so why not start out that way. Using a small potty and then having to get them to use the big one is a whole other step you're able to eliminate if you start out on the big one all along.

I feel like I just typed a LOT of words to basically say this:

Watch them constantly. The second they pee or are about to pee, bring them to the bathroom. If any pee or poop goes into the potty, celebrate and give them a reward. Repeat. 

The book claims this will take 3 days to really click. Day 3 we were still struggling. He was getting it, but it didn't feel like a sure thing. Day 4 was much better. Days 5-7 got even easier. By day 7 he was really getting it and we were both so proud! Accidents still happened. Accidents STILL happen now. But I feel like I started to really see it working on days 5/6 when he was telling me very clearly that he needed to go. Not every time, but a lot of the time.

The most important thing I took from my research was not to get discouraged. Don't quit because its day 4 and hes had 3 accidents by 10am. Don't quit because he cried on the toilet at one point and you start to second guess it. And don't question things when 3 weeks after you thought he had it, he decides to take a big ole poop on your living room floor. Its not because you failed or because he's regressing. Its because he's a kid. And because he can. And because sometimes kids do gross things.

Night time: 
Night time potty training is tricky because its all about bladder maturity and not really about 'training'. Pull ups (NOT diapers- although basically the same) were used for night time and nap time. We called them his "special night time underwear". To help him wake up dry we limited drinks after dinner. If he asked for something to drink, we would give it to him, but unless he asked, it wasn't available. We also pee RIGHT before bed. Its now part of our bedtime routine. Then the special night time underwear (aka pull up) goes on and its bed time. Sometimes he'd wake up dry 10 days straight, some days he'd pee overnight 10 days straight. Its really hit or miss and still is. I don't stress it because like I said, its nothing I can teach, and all about how long his body is able to hold it. My only suggestion is to take the pull up off the SECOND they wake up. Its important to not confuse them in the morning and think they're wearing a diaper.

__________________________________

I really hope that this wasn't all over the place and made sense. I do know that a lot of you have already potty trained and used your own method whether its using a timer, sticker chart, little potty, etc. and it worked just fine, and that's great! I know that not everyone has the time to dedicate to staring at your toddler all day. I get it! But I hope that there's someone out there with a brain like mine or a child like mine, and this method just clicks with you guys. I hope its helpful for at least someone out there, that will make it worth it!

Have questions? Leave a comment and I'll try my best to answer! Like I said, I'm not a pro, just a crazy mom who is obsessed with researching.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!
xox, katie